Thursday, June 7, 2012

"That is just Turrible!"

As I watch Rajon Rondo for the Boston Celtics tear it up during these NBA playoffs, I can’t help but laugh at how horrible the Phoenix Suns organization has been in recent years! I know what you are thinking. What does one thing have to do with the other? Well for all of you “loyal” Phoenix Suns fans in 2006 the Suns actually drafted Rajon and traded the future All Star to the Boston Celtics so he could win a Championship! Rajon sends his regards! I wish I could say that was the only mishap on the Suns part but they have been filled with one transaction blunder after another.

Ok, soooo maybe I am being hard on the Suns? Maybe it hasn’t been as bad as I think? Give me a second let me reflect….

Sorry, it definitely has been that bad! We can start with the “other brother concept” that the Suns seem to use for their draft picks. Taylor Griffin, he is the brother Blake Griffin! You know the guy that can jump over a KIA in a single bound. Robin Lopez brother of Brook Lopez who is tearing it up for the Nets and  the most recent draft Markieff Morris who was prospected to be less talented than his brother Marcus who was drafted one pick after the Suns by the Houston Rockets. If you can’t draft Arnold don’t settle for Danny Devito!

It’s no secret that the Suns have been horrible in the draft since Amare, who coincidently doesn’t play for the Suns anymore. Now if you are a Suns fan, I expect you to totally disagree with that statement and try to argue that Marcin Gortat is a solid player. I would tend to agree that he is a sold player, but you traded him to Orlando and luckily got him back 5 years later.

Let me throw some names out at you: Earl Clarke 14th overall, Alondo Tucker 29th overall, Rudy Fernandez (traded to Portland), Nate Robinson (traded to Knicks), Luol Deng (traded to the Bulls), Casey Jacobson 22nd overall and who could forget Zarko Cabarkapa 17th overall pick (who?).  *Side note* Phoenix Suns office, Austin Rivers is really good! I would draft him this year…just saying!

The Suns have had some good trades I must say! The Steve Nash and Michael Finley trade for Jason Kidd. Then Jason Kidd traded for Stephon Marbury. Then the trade Stephon to New York and pick up Steve Nash from free agency, wait didn’t we start with this guy? Ok, so a little sarcasm with that trade success, but in all honesty that Charles Barkley trade was classic. I’m sure that conversation was hilarious:

Jerry:   “Hey Paul guess what? We got Charles Barkley”
Paul:   “Uhhh, Ok I guess ill go tell KJ he is going to Philly.”
Jerry:   “No, we didn’t have to give up KJ!”
Paul:   “Well, who the hell did we get him for?”
Jerry:   “Hornacek, Lang and some dude, Tim Perry?”
Paul:   “Get the f!@# outta here!”
Jerry:   “I know right!”
Paul:   “WTF”

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


So I have been dieting and working out consistently for the past 3 weeks and I can see a significant changes in my body. Its crazy to think that with a change in mindset and a little determination what you can do. I used to go in the gym and do all the workouts that I WANTED to do; curls, bench, curls and more curls. Not the greatest work out plan but I figured if I got my chest and arms big and buff you wouldn't notice the flabby stomach.

Its funny how you can find motivation from a stand up comic. I started thinking of Kevin Harts stand up "Seriously Funny" when he is talking about his uncle that worked out but was "all legs!" ha ha (I guess you have to see it) None the less, I somehow found my initial inspiration from a 5' 5" comic with Napoleon syndrome.

I mean lets face it people, I am 30 years old! Before I know it I'm going to be 40 years old (geez). If I don't get into shape now there is very little chance for me in the future. I used to have dreams of falling asleep on the beach and waking up to people roping me off like they do to the animals that wash up on the beach so people leave them alone. On the bright side at least I don't have to try and find an open spot on the beach. VIF "Very Improtant Fatty!"
All my friends are skinny too! Pisses me off! I cant be the fat friend! "Hey, have you met my friend Myron? He has a great personality!"

Nope, nope, nope, that is not going to be me! I found this workout by Terry Crews that I started doing. You know Terry Crews, the goofy ,GINORMOUS actor from the movies White Chicks, Expendables, Longest Yard, all of those Old Spice commercials and soon to be released Expendables II! (wait for it to come out on video, trust me)

 So I work out 5 days a week, cut my calorie intake by half, started taking this dietary supplement called "Jack3d" that was recommended to me by a couple of friends that have taken it. So far so good. I have actually become quite addicted to working out. I have these things called "traps" now! They are located between your shoulder and neck. don't know what they are for but they look cool!

I used to say "I bet if I worked out I could look like Terry Crews!" Now that I have been doing this for such a short time and had such good results I'm starting to think that I really can look like Terry Crews. Way more handsome though!

Is the world ready for a handsome and fit Myron who maintained his personality from when he was fat? I don't think so world, I don't think so!